Browsing articles tagged with " Santa"

To Santa with Love, Kitty

Dec 24, 2013   //   by Karen Lopez   //   Data, Data Modeling, Fun, NoSQL, Snark  //  2 Comments

Dear Santa,

My friend and debate foe victim Thomas LaRock ( blog | @sqlrockstar) sent you some last minute gift advice for organizations who need your help.  That got me thinking, so I made a list, too.  I checked it three times because I’m thorough like that. I’ve based this list on observations and data I’ve collected over the last year.  Much like you do.  Except I didn’t use that creepy shelf elf guy.  

Just in case you didn’t collect enough data, or it got lost in some hard drive failure:

For Twitter: A way to restore those 20k Tweets of mine they lost a few years ago.  Oh, wait…probably better that they aren’t part of the firehose any more.

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For Data Modeling tool vendors: A copy of my multi-volume set of enhancement requests for supporting new database and datastore types. It’s nearly 2014; it’s time we data architects were able to do our job regardless of the target technology.

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For the NoSQL Community: A love of data so strong that they can tolerate the mere mention of relational database solutions when appropriate.

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For Microsoft: A brilliant new name for Windows Azure SQL Database. I can’t keep saying that in my presentations.  Even WASD is difficult. 

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For Oracle, IBM, and Sybase users: A community as active and helpful on social media as those in the SQL community.

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For United Airlines: A set of laminated copies for each employee of your Star Alliance agreement to remind you that 125k flyers do indeed get perks on your airline. First World Problems, I know.

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For Star Alliance airlines, including Air Canada: A "Wifi in the Sky for Dummies" book. Tell them to get cracking.

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For NASA: That other half a penny.

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For Justin Bieber: US citizenship and a ranch in SoCal.  And a plane ticket.  No monkeys.

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For Rob Ford:  NULL.  Not even coal.

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For my readers and their customers: A year in which their data is much loved, in the right place, at the right time, with the right granularity and the right integrity.  Or World Peace.  Probably easier.

Love,

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(Kitty is my Starbucks name.  I figure Santa knows that already.)

Ha Ha Ho Ho Ho–at North Pole, Inc.

Dec 20, 2012   //   by Karen Lopez   //   Blog, Data, Data Governance, Fun, NoSQL, Snark  //  1 Comment

Doug Laney, of Gartner, has penned a real piece of candy humour on his blog at http://blogs.gartner.com/doug-laney/gartner-shares-findings-from-north-pole-inc-big-data-assessment/.  In this report on North Pole, Inc, he assesses their current technology environment, their leadership styles and some of their data weaknesses. I chuckled all the way through it. 

Analytic Opportunities Beyond Just “Naughty or Nice”

From a business intelligence perspective, Gartner found that NPI is lagging others in the shipping and distribution industry. Its enterprise data warehouse , called “Chimneys”, is really a collection of stovepipe query and reporting systems, some still relying on first-generation BI tools like Red Brick. Gartner recommended evolving to a logical data warehouse architecture for most low-frequency queries to enable more insightful cross-functional, federated analytics.

Some predictive analytics is done to select appropriate toys based on NITS behavior modeling, demographics and prior-year presents. Gartner recommended that this system be enhanced to account for factors such as sibling response, damage/loss propensity, and social content analysis. NPI however is working on mobile-enabling Santa in the field during mall appearances so he can advise on toy availability and alternatives (as necessary) in real-time while a child is on his lap. This system is expected to be in place for the 2013 holiday season. Gartner analysts pointed out that this new capability would also require enhancing its “Tommy” toy order management system to capture full catalog and supply chain information from its suppliers. Today NPI only maintains this tracking data on actual orders.

Grab your candy cane mocha cinnamon double wet latte and read up.  Your boss is online shopping for his wife on LastMinuteNotTooExpensiveGifts.com anyway.  Read up.

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