Yet Another Odd Job Criterion

I’ve seen this a few times.  I’d like to think it just a cut-and-paste error, or someone doing alcohol-driven job postings, but I’m guessing these sorts of things are used to, let’s say, target certain candidates.

Here’s a blurb from another posting, courtesy of a government contractor:

But if you think Business Analysts have it bad, look to see what this upstate NY retailer thinks they need in a Data Analyst

And don’t get me started on someone looking to hire a Data Analyst to be a a “Data Cop” for $35k a year. I don’t care how “generous” the benefits are.

Here are the rest of those Data Analyst job requirements:

He-men Only

I don’t see anything in the job description that requires the ability to lift 70 pounds frequently. I can only guess is helping move the bodies.

When recruiters issue silly job postings, this is a major sign that they aren’t serious about the posting.  Just give them a pass.

And ladies, start doing bicep curls and push ups. You are going to have a difficult time meeting that requirement without weight training. But perhaps that’s the point after all.  All that data stuff is really hard work.

Professional Development: What Would You Tell Your 16-Year-Old Self?

I recently read a column in the Toronto Star by Lorraine Sommerfeld (Twitter | Blog).  Lorraine writes about finding a picture of herself when when she was 16 years old.  From High School Picture is Worth A 1,000 Words to Me, she muses:

I can’t help but think how many things she doesn’t know. Would I tell her that her first love will be killed by a drunk driver in just a few short months? No, I wouldn’t tell her that. Pain is rarely better, even with a preamble.

Would I tell her she isn’t going to be a lawyer? Another no, I suspect. Life has a way of unfurling as it should, and good things are often replaced by better ones for reasons that are larger than our present vision. Life with no surprises isn’t much of a life.

This got me thinking (and Tweeting) about what advice I’d give my 16-year-old self.    In this post  I’m going to focus on the professional advice I’d give beta Karen.

1. When mentors you trust practically push you into your bosses office to ask for a raise, GO ASK FOR THE RAISE.  One of the most costly lessons I learned early in my career was that managers rarely hand out sufficient pay increases to people who never ask for them.  They take that non-demanded money and give it to he (usually) guys who ask the boss for a raise almost every month.  It’s easier that way.  Women almost never ask for raises.  It’s not how we think about our role in business, unfortunately.  Very unfortunately.  We women (and men) who fail to ask for raise could be leaving $1-2 million dollars on the table during the span of our career.  Remember how compounding works in loans?  Well, it also works with income.  In that one mistaken thought of "I’m already making tons of money" I left about $30,000 on the table I later found out. In today’s dollars that is $60,000.  That’s just what they were going to bump up my salary by if I had asked.  If I had pushed for more I would have gotten even more.  Forget the cannoli; ask for the raise. 
2. When someone tries to engage you in a negative way, the only way to win is to not be negative in return.  I’m still learning this message, but the more I practice it, the more it becomes more natural…and the better it feels.  I tend to get all riled up when someone accuses me of cheating, of being unfair, or being overly sales-oriented.  In fact, I’m so anti-cheating/unfair/salesy that I often miss good opportunities just so that I can stay far on the safe side of those issues.  When people throw aspersions at me I want to go full steam ahead, seek revenge and aim to spread damage far and wide.  But the few times I’ve done that, I’ve always lost out. Always.  I had a great mentor (see point one) who I swear would help someone sort the items in his wallet if he were mugged.  He was very patient.  People thought he was weak, but he was probably the most powerful person in the office. He held that power because he was fair when things got difficult.  He never raised his voice.  He never sought revenge.  It isn’t about always turning the other cheek; it’s about recognizing that we can’t advance a project together when people are at war with each other.  By responding with a BFG 9000, even when it is entirely justified, you’re going to lose.
3. "Nobody will ever remember what [you] wore, but they will forever remember how [you] made them feel". That quote comes from Lorraine’s article as well. It is related to point two above, but it also applies in neutral or even good situations.  I’ve seen people doing a great job be harmed by people who want to be rude or insulting just for the fun of it.  In fact, this happened in a discussion post just this week on LinkedIn.  Somehow the Internet brings out the trolls and spoilers due to the physical distance between parties.  Feeding the trolls just gives them more power and makes them bigger. It’s what they feed on. Don’t feed the trolls.

   I remember a project manager on one of my early projects.  She was not a nice person and we often disagreed on how our work should be completed.  We didn’t argue, but her assignments were not in my normal toolset: "cut 50 tables out of the database ", "don’t use diagrams where a 1,000 words will work" and "we need more defects in the system so we can get follow-on work". She also had a problem with anyone smiling at work.  If you’ve read my works, you probably know that I don’t exactly have a reputation for being sunny and cheerful.  Snark is my normal mode.  But this project manager consistently wrote to my bosses about my violation of her rules of no smiling at work.  Our clients smiled and it was painful not to return the smile.  My bosses offered the best advice they could: "try not to smile in front of her".  She was a terror to work with.  She insulted workers on a regular basis.  I could not name one single thing she wore. Not one.  But I remember how she treated people.

4. Some of your best teachers will be people who work against you.  That contractor who hired you to be a team leader for corn detasseling but turned demoted you (and cut your pay) when all the other girls quit ("I can’t have a girl supervising boys; it’s not right")? He taught you that you are going to run into environments where people think that women are less than men.  When you quit rather than take the insult, you set yourself up for understanding that you don’t have to take the type of fertilizer that some people think is perfectly fine to dish out.  You will survive, even if you quit a job.  Even if you have to do that more than once.  Life is too short to spend time in an environment that you don’t enjoy at least most of the time.  
5. Ditch the hot rollers.  Your hair is frizzy.  Work with it.  Wear more hats. Life is too short to spend it in curlers.

What are the things that you’d tell your childhood self?  I saw some great funny ones on Twitter, but I’d really like to hear what you seriously would have liked to have known back then.  We’re using #2My16yoSelf on Twitter and in other blog posts.