Database Design Throwdown, Texas Style
It’s a new year and I’ve given Thomas LaRock (@@sqlrockstar | blog ) a few months to recover and ramp up his training since our last Throwdown. The trophies from all my wins are really cluttering my office and I feel back that Tom has not yet had a chance to claim victory. So we will battling again in just a few days.
I’ll be dishing out the knowledge along with a handkerchief for Tom to wipe up his tears at SQL Saturday #461 Austin, TX on 30 January 2016. This full day community-driven event features real database professionals giving free presentations on SQL Server and Data Platform topics. All you need to do is register (again, it’s free) before all the tickets are gone.
Database Design Throwdown
Speaker(s): Karen Lopez Thomas LaRock
Duration: 60 minutes
Track: Application & Database Development
Everyone agrees that great database performance starts with a great database design. Unfortunately, not everyone agrees which design options are best. Data architects and DBAs have debated database design best practices for decades. Systems built to handle current workloads are unable to maintain performance as workloads increase.Attend this new and improved session and join the debate about the pros and cons of database design decisions. This debate includes topics such as logical design, data types, primary keys, indexes, refactoring, code-first generators, and even the cloud. Learn about the contentious issues that most affect your end users and how to avoid them.
One of the other great benefits of attending these events is that you get to network with other data professionals who are working on project just like yours…or ones you will likely work on at some point.
Join us an other data pros to talk about data, databases and projects. And make sure you give a #datahug to Tom after the Throwdown. He’s gonna need it.
What Your Database Security Design….
…looks like to me.
Sure, you’ve got your own home-grown database security system all designed and working in development. And then you ask me to confirm that it’s “safe”. I’ll tell ya “it’s safe as long as you don’t actually put any data in it”.
Hacking Database Design
I get asked to help teams increase the performance of their database (hint: indexes, query tuning and correct datatypes, in that order) or to help the scale it out for increasing workloads. But when I open it up to take a look, I see something that looks more like this meme.
All those cheats, workarounds and tricks they’ve used are going to make the engine optimizers work harder, make the tuning of queries that much harder and in the end it’s going to cost so much more to make it “go faster” or “go web scale”.
Where are the nail clippers in your data models and databases?
Yeah My Mama She Told Me Don’t Worry About Your JOINs
(with apologies to Meghan Trainor)
Because you know
I’m all about the data
‘Bout the data, no trouble
I’m all about the data
‘Bout the data, no trouble
I’m all about the data
‘Bout the data, no trouble
I’m all about the data
‘Bout the data
Yeah, it’s pretty clear, I ain’t NoSQL
But I can love it, love it
Like I’m supposed to do
‘Cause I still got zoom zoom that in the database
With all the right facts in all the right places
I see the newbies are workin’ that drawing slop
We know that shit ain’t real
C’mon now, make it stop
If you got data models, just raise ’em up
‘Cause a Zachman Framework is perfect
From the bottom to the top
Yeah, my mama she told me don’t worry about your joins
She says, “Data likes a little quality to keep it right.”
You know I won’t be no schemafree denormal Barbie doll
So if that’s what you’re into then go ahead and move along
Because you know I’m
All about the data
‘Bout the data, no trouble
I’m all about the data
‘Bout the data, no trouble
I’m all about the data
‘Bout the data, no trouble
I’m all about the data
‘Bout the data
Hey!
I’m bringing quality facts
Go ahead and tell polyschematics that
Normalized data, I know you think it’s slow
But I’m here to tell ya
Transactional data’s perfect from the bottom to the top
Yeah my mama she told me don’t worry about your joins
She says, “Data likes a little quality to keep it right.”
You know I won’t be no schemafree denormal Barbie doll
If eventual consistency’s your thing then move along
Because you know I’m
All about the data
‘Bout the data, no trouble
I’m all about the data
‘Bout the data, no trouble
I’m all about the data
‘Bout the data, no trouble
I’m all about the data
‘Bout the data
Because you know I’m
All about the data
‘Bout the data, no trouble
I’m all about the data
‘Bout the data, no trouble
I’m all about the data
‘Bout the data, no trouble
I’m all about the data
‘Bout the data
Because you know I’m
All about the data
‘Bout the data, no trouble
I’m all about the data
‘Bout the data, no trouble
I’m all about the data
‘Bout the data, no trouble
I’m all about the data
‘Bout the data
‘Bout the data, ’bout the data
Hey, hey, ooh
You know you love the data
#SQLPASS #SUMMIT14 #MVPSUMMIT Checklist–50 Things Not to Leave Behind
shared some of these on Twitter, but I decided to pull them all together in one place. There’s be a lot of tips shared prior to these events, but I think these haven’t been covered nearly enough.
- Laptop Power cord
- Spare batteries
- USB charger ends
- VGA adapter/dongle
- Presentation clicker
- Presentation on thumb drive
- Compassion for those with difficulties
- Bravery to meet people in person
- Spirit to lift others up
- Daring to try something new
- Firmness to speak up
- Care for not insulting others
- Humility to ask real questions
- Talent to discourage Strutters
- Expertise to think of audience, not self
- Restraint not to sell from the podium
- Civility to be nice to everyone, not just the celebs
- Class not to spam the crowd
- Excellence to understand that not everyone speaks English well.
- Integrity to disclose your biases and affiliations
- Professionalism not to cuss
- Readiness to help others
- Genuineness to show your real self
- Trust that others want you to succeed
- Diligence to keep your promises
- Concern for others who have less experience than you
- Coolness to get through tough discussions
- Kindness for others
- Goofiness to have fun
- Self-discipline to take care of your body
- Prudence to take care of your mind
- Sincerity to admit your mistakes
- Preparedness for your presentation.
- Openness to constructive feedback
- Honesty to admit “I do not know”
- Expertise to answer questions
- Mindfulness to know when you are not helping
- Charity for others who disagree with you
- Expertise to know when to not try to answer questions
- Empathy for others
- Respect for self
- Wisdom to know that you can’t have self respect without empathy for others
- Forethought to pack well
- Vigilance to call out bullying and disrespect
- Courage to meet others who are different than you
- Strength to deal
- Moderation to get to tomorrow
- Stamina for long days
- Thankfulness for volunteers and staff
- Joy for cheering on others
What did I forget on this list?
Subscribe via E-mail
Recent Comments
Categories
Downloads
- 476275616.jpg
- favicon
- Refactoring Computer Engineer Barbie
- 10 Things I Hate About Interviewing with You
- EDW 2013 Karen Lopez Get Blogging
- Karen Lopez presentation DAMA PS 2012
- Data Modeling Contentious Issues - DAMA Nebraska
- Karen Lopez - 10 Physical Blunders - DAMA
- Career Success In Data Profession - DAMA
- The Straw Poll
- You've Just Inherited a Data Model CheckList
- KarenLopez - 5 Physical Blunders - 24HOP-2011
- Handouts for OEMUG / CA Global Modeling User Group Why Be Normal Webcast
- Handouts Database Design Contentious Issues - New York 2010
- Handouts Database Design Contentious Issues - DC 2010
Archive
Recent Posts
Archives
- April 2018
- December 2017
- August 2017
- September 2016
- August 2016
- June 2016
- May 2016
- April 2016
- March 2016
- February 2016
- January 2016
- December 2015
- November 2015
- September 2015
- July 2015
- June 2015
- May 2015
- April 2015
- March 2015
- February 2015
- January 2015
- December 2014
- November 2014
- October 2014
- August 2014
- July 2014
- June 2014
- May 2014
- April 2014
- March 2014
- February 2014
- January 2014
- December 2013
- November 2013
- October 2013
- September 2013
- August 2013
- July 2013
- June 2013
- May 2013
- April 2013
- March 2013
- February 2013
- January 2013
- December 2012
- November 2012
- October 2012
- September 2012
- August 2012
- July 2012
- June 2012
- May 2012
- April 2012
- March 2012
- February 2012
- January 2012
- December 2011
- November 2011
- October 2011
- September 2011
- August 2011
- July 2011
- June 2011
- May 2011
- April 2011
- March 2011
- February 2011
- January 2011
- December 2010
- November 2010
- September 2010
- August 2010
- July 2010
- February 2009