To Santa with Love, Kitty

Dec 24, 2013   //   by Karen Lopez   //   Data, Data Modeling, Fun, NoSQL, Snark  //  2 Comments

Dear Santa,

My friend and debate foe victim Thomas LaRock ( blog | @sqlrockstar) sent you some last minute gift advice for organizations who need your help.  That got me thinking, so I made a list, too.  I checked it three times because I’m thorough like that. I’ve based this list on observations and data I’ve collected over the last year.  Much like you do.  Except I didn’t use that creepy shelf elf guy.  

Just in case you didn’t collect enough data, or it got lost in some hard drive failure:

For Twitter: A way to restore those 20k Tweets of mine they lost a few years ago.  Oh, wait…probably better that they aren’t part of the firehose any more.

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For Data Modeling tool vendors: A copy of my multi-volume set of enhancement requests for supporting new database and datastore types. It’s nearly 2014; it’s time we data architects were able to do our job regardless of the target technology.

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For the NoSQL Community: A love of data so strong that they can tolerate the mere mention of relational database solutions when appropriate.

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For Microsoft: A brilliant new name for Windows Azure SQL Database. I can’t keep saying that in my presentations.  Even WASD is difficult. 

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For Oracle, IBM, and Sybase users: A community as active and helpful on social media as those in the SQL community.

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For United Airlines: A set of laminated copies for each employee of your Star Alliance agreement to remind you that 125k flyers do indeed get perks on your airline. First World Problems, I know.

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For Star Alliance airlines, including Air Canada: A "Wifi in the Sky for Dummies" book. Tell them to get cracking.

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For NASA: That other half a penny.

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For Justin Bieber: US citizenship and a ranch in SoCal.  And a plane ticket.  No monkeys.

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For Rob Ford:  NULL.  Not even coal.

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For my readers and their customers: A year in which their data is much loved, in the right place, at the right time, with the right granularity and the right integrity.  Or World Peace.  Probably easier.

Love,

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(Kitty is my Starbucks name.  I figure Santa knows that already.)

2 Comments

  • For NASA: Heck yea! I’ll gladly spend another $0.005 as long as it goes to NASA and the extra money for NASA isn’t shifted somewhere else.

    For Justin Bieber: Please Canada, revoke the Bieber’s passport.

    For Rob Ford: Canada can keep Ford also. The US is just grateful that one of Canada’s politicians has diverted attention from our own crazy politicians; I think that South Carolina has more than its fair share.

    Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

  • […] Don’t blame me that the name NoSQL seriously needs rebranding.)    Plus, with a Starbucks name of Kitty, this is *so* my character.  Cloud Cuckoo Land and […]

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